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After years of listening to all the reasons why it’s not okay to be gay, it feels freeing to be in a virtual space that encourages you to just listen to what’s happening in your pants.Once people get real about that, then they can find true love.Which is why Tinder can be so valuable for people trying to step into their true identities.
Unlike the other dating apps I’d tried years earlier, like Match or Ok Cupid, I didn’t have to scroll through paragraphs-long, superfluous autobiographies.
“I was swiping through the app when some of my friends asked to help out, which — encouraged by a couple of beers — I agreed to,” Ian told me in an email.
“When they started seeing other guys appearing on it, it was pretty obvious I wasn’t straight.
“I didn’t know how to flirt with a guy.” But on Tinder, Landwirth says, he could finally just relax, because the app took some of the guesswork out of things.
There was no fear he’d be hitting on a straight guy — which meant he could finally focus on figuring out who he was attracted to, and whether they were interested in him. I was able to let loose,” he says, “to try the lamest pickup lines or do some serious flirting.” Plus, having these exchanges on the internet felt less intimidating than interacting with someone face-to-face.
Both are now completely “out.” Tinder, they say, helped them get there. And as far as most people were concerned, I was a straight woman.