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What You Can Learn: "Barbara felt alone for many years, and feeling disconnected from your partner is the genesis of most of the affairs I see in my practice," says Dr. "I was very angry, but I was also very hurt, because I felt like I wasn't enough for him—like there was something I wasn't doing for him as his wife, which is why he felt the need to go outside of our marriage," says the 33-year-old.
That jumble of mixed emotions was the impetus for her affair.
"The affair helped me find myself and proved to me that I could live a life independent of my husband. Twenty-five years later, I'm married to a wonderful man.
We love making each other happy, and never try to change who the other person is," she says.
Within a few weeks of meeting him, she ended her marriage, and two years later, she and Tom were married. "Meeting Tom was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. Engaging in open, honest communication about your needs with your husband is the key to help a stalled marriage.
He came into my life and woke me up, showing me…that life is precious and that at any given moment, it can all be taken away, so if I have a dream or a goal, I better get moving on it," she says. RELATED: 11 Sneaky Signs He's Having an Affair Larie Norvell had only been married about a year when she found out that her husband had cheated on her.
Silverman suggests looking inside yourself if you're unhappy or bored with your relationship.
"Healthy relationships grow and evolve, and feeling bored is a symptom of relationship stagnation.
"One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life." Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat.
"My husband was a good man, but I was bored inside and out," she says.
"In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole." That year, she was in Chicago on business and met Bob, an Australian man, on an elevator. We exchanged numbers, kept in touch, and I decided to fly out to Australia to see him and get him out of my system," she says.
"The biggest lesson I learned was that if I was unhappy in my marriage, my husband was only 50% to blame.
[Having] an affair gave me the courage to ask for what I wanted in my marriage," she says.RELATED: 12 Shocking Facts About Cheaters At 35-years-old, Barbara Gisborne was living the American dream.She lived in Madison, Wisconsin, with her loving husband and two children—but she was miserable.What You Can Learn: While what her husband did may be shocking, the fact that there was unaddressed anger in the relationship created fertile ground for an affair, says Dr. "Coupled with the lack of sexual intimacy there was nothing left to hang a relationship on," he says Even though the affair helped Vanessa learn some valuable lessons and the relationship was ultimately saved, Dr.