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This is why it's so important for the couple to have a shared understanding of the disorder and the problems and patterns it can create in a relationship."ADHD isn't an excuse, it's an explanation," J.
Russell Ramsay, Ph D, co-director of the Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania, tells Buzz Feed Health.
Not to mention, even if the person with ADHD is diagnosed and treated, they still might hesitate to tell a new partner because of the stigma around the disorder.
"As you get to know someone, you might need to have a conversation and open up about your ADHD — just like any other mental illness — to help your partner understand and prepare for symptoms," Ramsay says.
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If you're the partner of someone with ADHD, it's crucial that you also support their treatment program and educate yourself about the disorder.
"If you refuse to believe ADHD is real or view it as lifestyle choice or laziness, you are being very condescending — and if the person with ADHD starts to buy it too, they can become demoralized," Barkley says.
(Often known as "being in your own little world.")In the context of relationships, it can mean the person with ADHD initially puts all of their focus and energy into their new partner — dropping everything to see them, showering them with attention, listening to every little story.
This attitude could discourage someone with ADHD from getting treatment that could change their life and turn a relationship around. And because people with ADHD tend to thrive with novelty and spontaneity, this part of the relationship can seem effortless.